


Finding stillness; or the long goodbye

by everythingturnstodust



Series: First we feel, then we fall. [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27001324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingturnstodust/pseuds/everythingturnstodust
Summary: The gaang find a bit of permanence in the Fire Nation. The bond between Katara and Zuko begins to shift. They begin an evasive dance around the truth. Sokka and Suki make way for the Earth Kingdom, leaving behind friends in various stages of grief. It's only just the beginning.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Series: First we feel, then we fall. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970662
Kudos: 14





	Finding stillness; or the long goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place soon after Zuko's coronation, and over the course of two weeks in the months before the start of "Dualities." I should be writing a wedding, but felt pulled to the past.

They had been at the palace for a week now with no sense of urgency. On the grounds near the pond, the gang had made camp. It had seemed the perfect spot, reminiscent of the many nights spent on the road together over the previous year. Plus, Zuko, now beholden to his many duties as Fire Lord, often visited this place to clear his head. It felt both a part of and separate from the Fire Nation. Often, the Fire Lord could be found sitting with his friends around their fires, gazing at stars, and telling ghost stories, or practicing their bending.

As the days passed, it became clear to Zuko that his friends were here to stay. At least for a little while. _Until a peace treaty can be signed,_ Aang had said. Long hours of negotiations with the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom proved fruitless and, therefore, Zuko decided it was time to find more permanent quarters for his friends. He wanted to make his home theirs.

Mak, one of his advisors, a tall man, taller than Zuko, with unusual aubrun hair and piercing gold eyes, was tasked with finding suitable places. Although the Fire Lord wanted his friends both close to him and to each other, it was more important to find quarters that suited each of his friends’ needs. Mak took on the task with a verve Zuko hadn’t expected. After much research, Mak discovered that prior to Sozin’s rule, the palace maintained rooms for visiting envoys from each of the other nations. On the east side of the palace, there were large airy rooms, designed for the visiting Air Nomads. A large balacony wrapped around the rooms, which themselves were open - exposed to the elements. The only door within these quarters was the one that led into the labyrinth of the palace. The visiting monks or acolytes could come and go as it suited them.

While the visiting royalty from the Earth Kingdom were provided large rooms on the north side of the palace, they didn’t fit the parameters Zuko had given for Toph’s rooms. Her rooms had to be large, on the bottom level of the palace, unfurnished, and made of only stone and steel. This proved somewhat easy, as there were dozens of secret tunnels and hidden bunkers that were installed during Azulon’s rule. 

Suki and Sokka were given shared rooms near the armory, where they had spent most of their time since arriving. One would assume the warriors would take a break from training - the imminent threat gone. But Suki, ever the warrior, kept her skills honed. And Sokka, a love-sick puppy, trailed after her.

“It’s really nice of you to give us rooms,” Katara was saying as Zuko lead her along a passageway towards the south side of the palace. “I hope it wasn’t much trouble - the gardens suited us just fine.” Despite being surrounded by thick stone walls, she could smell the ocean on the air. 

As they walked, Zuko’s hand brushed against hers. He snatched it away quickly, pretending to scratch an itch on the back of his neck. “My advisor, Mak, was happy to complete the task,” he rasped in response. “I wanted you all to feel welcomed here.”

“We do,” she replied. Her voice echoed down the dimly light corridor.

The sconces along the hall flickered as they passed. Its flame casted dancing shadows on the stone walls. The pair continued on silently for some time, enjoying the comfort of each other’s presence. They finally came to a stop before a sandalwood door. Carved into its center was the symbol of the Water Tribe. 

“Here we are,” Zuko smiled, meeting Katara’s sapphire stare. Her eyes were bright, yet her expression unreadable. Usually an open book, Katara seemed closed almost. His heart beat ticked up slightly - worried that she might be disappointed. But it was only the door, he reassured himself. She had not yet seen inside.

At the door, Katara hesitated. An encouraging look from the firebender on her right sent her reaching for the handle. As she pushed the heavy door open, she took in a sharp breath. Her eyes widened in awe as she took in the space before her. The space that was now hers.

Inside was a brightly lit courtyard with three abutting rooms. In its center sat a fountain with carvings of a waterbender and firebender fighting along its base. _Not fighting, dancing_. Tears welled in her eyes as she saw relics from the Water Tribes. Tapestries in jewel-toned blues and purples covered the walls. Scattered across the floor, were gray, white, and black animal skin rugs. If not for the warm air and the beige stone walls, Katara might have been back home in the South Pole. 

“How,” she faltered, “how did you do this?”

“Before my great-grandfather started the war, we often hosted visitors from the other nations. These rooms were where council members from the Water Tribes stayed. When Mak found it, of course, it didn’t quite look like this,” he replied, gesturing around the room. “Sozin or maybe Azulon had turned it into storage. It was dusty and dingy and filled with relics from the other nations - long forgotten. I would have thought they’d burn it all, but -”

“Thank the spirits for that,” she replied as she ran her fingers along the smooth driftwood credenza covered in ivory carvings and vases. She briefly peaked into the bedchamber and washroom before moving into the sitting area through the back.

This room had three large windows overlooking the ocean and the village below. She could see her father’s ship with its natural wooden hull and dark blue sails standing out against the array of black and gray steamships. Beside a stone bench covered in blue silk cushions was a private entrance which lead down to the beach for her to come and go as she pleased.

“Zuko, I -” she took a moment to catch herself, scared that the tears filling her eyes might spill. Unsure why that might bother her in the first place. It’s not like he hadn’t see her cry before. He had seen her in nearly every emotion - her rage, which rivaled even his, and her joy, which he envied. What harm would it do to show him this appreciation? 

Instead of words, she walked towards him. Instinct caused him to take a step back, uncertain of what might happen. Yet, her reassuring smile gave him pause. As he stood his ground, he could feel her body press against his. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her face buried into his chest. His body responded naturally, pulling her in tighter.

“Thank you,” she said into his chest.

“Does it feel like home,” he breathed into her hair, unsure if he wanted to know the answer. How could this place, the place of her enemy, ever feel like home? He had spent long nights of late thinking about her, about how they had grown together over the past year - over the past few months. Of how that culminated in a battle with Azula. Offering one life to the other - then giving it back.

A lump formed in his throat. Something had been building inside of him. It had started back in Ba Sing Se, but then it had merely been a curiosity. This girl. This _waterbender_ had offered him her trust and he had squandered it. Betrayed her. The guilt of it sat heavily in his chest. Last night, he had dreamt of her, of her eyes wide in horror as Azula threatened her life. He had woken in a start as the lightening took her. His chest ached at her loss. 

“It does,” she said pulling away from him to meet his amber gaze arms still wrapped around his neck. Her right hand moved instinctively to his chest, to the place where she had stopped his death. Heat began to spread through his body at her touch.

In a moment of recognition, she pulled her hand away quickly as if lapped by his flames. Her pulse quickened and her cheeks tinged and at last, she backed away from him. An unspoken intimacy had formed between them even before Azula. It was their journey to find Yon Rah. Their eyes met once more. Words bubbled at the surface, threatening to escape. To reveal hidden feelings.

A hard knock sounded on the door behind them, saving them. In a mix of relief and frustration, Zuko turned to find Li standing in the doorway. “My lord, I apologize for the intrusion, but the Fire Sages are waiting for you,” he said quietly.

“I’ll only be a moment longer,” Zuko offered curtly before turning back to meet Katara’s sapphire gaze. He stood silent for a moment, as the sound of Li’s footsteps faded behind him. A vibrant sunset blazed in the sky behind her and he could not help but think this place was made for her. 

“Katara, I,” he took in another breath.The sound of his beating heart thrummed, deafeningly loud in his ears. He couldn’t help himself. “I wanted to - to thank you for saving my life,” he bowed low. Lower likely than any Fire Lord before him.

“Zuko.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. His skin pricked at the sound of his name on her lips. At her touch, he rose to meet her. “You don’t have to thank me. This is - this is everything,” she added, gesturing to the room. 

“Whatever you need, it’s yours.” And he was gone.

_________________________

It was nearing midnight when Katara found Zuko at the pond the following night. His duties had kept him from his friends. All day, she had felt his absence. At breakfast and dinner, her eyes lingered on his empty chair. On the beach while she and Aang and Toph practiced bending, she missed the heat of his fire. And even in the armory as Suki and Sokka sparred, the absence of his japes filled the room. Seeing his tall figure silhouetted by the moon stirred something in her. She almost turned back when Zuko greeted her. “Katara,” he rasped.

“Hi, Zuko.” Her feet carried her towards him in spite of herself.

_I thought I might find you here_ , he said to himself. Long hours of negotiations, interviews with new advisors, secretaries, and other legislators, and the war tribunal had kept him away from his friends that day. The work was necessary. Iroh had his hand in all of it, which in and of itself was helpful, but he envied his friends their freedom. Instead he said, “I just needed to get away.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“No. No, please, join me,” he replied, a bit flustered. “I just meant, away from the palace.”

Katara took a seat, inviting him to join her. The moon reflecting off the pond gave light to both of their faces. A shy smile passed over her lips as she removed her shoes to dangle her toes in the water. Zuko leaned back on his hands as he observed her. There was a quiet comfort between them.

A warm breeze sent Katara’s hair cascading over her shoulder. “It really is magical here,” she said quietly as she bent the water before her, causing lilypads to dance.

“What makes you say that?” He wanted to see the world through her eyes.

“It’s like something out of a dream. I have never experienced heat like this while being fully in my element before.” Her toes danced, skimming the top of the pond. “I’m not running or hiding or fighting,” she continued as she leaned back on her hands. The tips of her fingers touched his, yet neither pulled away. She looked at him over her right shoulder, and continued, “I feel still for what feels like the first time in my life.”

He sat quietly for a moment. It was strange to think of this place as anything more than the manifestation of his childhood traumas. Yet, here, in the place of her enemy, she found comfort. He turned his head towards her, so he could meet her sapphire stare. Without fail, she sat to his left. Always meeting his scarred half. “I envy you,” was all he could muster.

_You grew up here_ , she wanted to say, but caught herself. She need only look to his scar to realize his experience was quite different than hers. It wasn’t hard to imagine the pain he was experiencing. The first time she came here, she felt it too. On the day of Black Sun. Righteous anger filled her as she fought her enemies. The people who killed her mother. She let the silence linger between them, eyes still locked. 

“But _you_ are making a difference here,” she finally offered. “You get to make _real_ change. I envy you that.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “I think that must be true.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“No, you are honest to a fault.”

She laughed. A true laugh. Truer than she had in weeks. She pushed his shoulder, throwing him off balance and he laughed in return. Their eyes met once more and both faces became solemn. All around them the sound of night filled the air. Zuko’s fingers dug into the earth beneath him. “Can I tell you something,” he asked wearily.

“Of course.”

“I feel different.”

“Well, you are the Fire Lord now.”

“No, not just that.” He pulled his gaze from hers and focused on the waxing crescent moon’s reflection on the pond. “Something happened, when you saved my life.” He sat forward grasping the fabric over his scar. The dull ache that disappeared whenever he was around Katara returned. “I feel changed - lighter almost,” his voice faded unsure what else to say. Unsure how to put words to these feelings.

“I feel changed too,” she said after a beat. She moved towards him, placing her hand atop the one grasping at his chest. 

“I keep thinking that you didn’t have to save my life. But I know you, and I know that even before we were friends you offered to save me -” 

“Only to heal your scar,” she interrupted.

“You know it meant more than that,” he shot back. He lowered his hands to his thigh and hers followed with them. “If it hadn’t, you wouldn’t have felt betrayed by me.”

“Zuko,” her voice shook. She felt ashamed of the way she acted before. Of course she felt betrayed. Of course she judged him harshly, but that was all before she knew him. Did she know him even more now?

“Katara, I’m sorry,” he offered, placing his second hand atop hers. “I only meant -”

“I know what you meant.” Heat rose in her face. She looked down at their hands clasping each other. Even their touch was casual now. “I keep thinking that you didn’t have to jump in front of the lightning that was meant for me. But, then I know you too, and I think you would have done that for anyone - any innocent.”

A breeze blew once more, sending her hair across her face. She smiled, finally pulling her hands from his. To tie her hair back behind her neck. “Why do you want to get away,” she asked, in spite of herself.

“It hasn’t been easy, being back here. I keep thinking about things that happened before. I sit in these meetings, hours and hours of meetings, some of which will determine the future of the world, and I can’t help but think about the things I have done to contribute to it. The terrible things I have done.”

“But think of all you are doing to change it.”

“Do good deeds cancel out the bad?”

_I don’t know_.

_________________________

The sound of metal on metal filled the armory. Inside off-duty attendants, soldiers, and visiting envoys practiced their skills. It was an interesting place to be under the new Fire Lord. Laughter filled the space as century long enemies made playful japes at one another. Members of the Water Tribes, Earth Kingdom, and Fire Nation were trading tips and fighting for sport.

In the farthest corner of the training room, Sokka and Zuko were sparring bare-chested. They had been at it for over an hour. While the Fire Lord was considered a master firebender, his skill with his dao swords were unmatched. He was nimble and athletic, easily avoiding Sokka’s blows. But the Water Tribe boy was a fast learning - dodging Zuko nearly as often. The two had spent as much time as the Fire Lord could spare sparring with each other over the past two weeks. Suki had been impressed with Zuko’s skills and the feeling was mutual. They often joked at Sokka’s expense, but he was observant and worked hard to take in as much knowledge as his girlfriend and best friend had to offer.

Today, it was just the boys - Suki was off in the village with Ty Lee and Mai. The three had hit it off after the initial pain period, which lasted nearly as long as it took Zuko and Suki to get on. That is to say, very quickly. Mutual respect for their skills outweighed the awkwardness of having nearly killed or, at the very least, severely harmed each other. 

Drenched in sweat, Sokka yielded. He was tired, hungry, and his partner was relentless. It was the first afternoon that Zuko wasn’t required to be anywhere. He wasn’t one to squander this momentary freedom, but Sokka had to desist.

“Oh come on, buddy. If you can’t keep up with me, how do you expect to keep up with Suki?”

“I respect Suki as the alpha in our relationship. There’s no shame in admitting defeat.”

“You say that now,” Zuko chuckled, thinking back to their field-trip to The Boiling Rock. Sokka was so ashamed at his failure on the day of Black Sun that he snuck into the most protected prison in the Fire Nation and broke out his dad and Suki, as a bonus. Of course Hakoda wasn’t mad at his son, if anything he was proud of what they had accomplished. If Azula hadn’t known the plan beforehand, they likely would have won the war that day.

They took a seat on the nearest bench, patting themselves dry with their shirts. “I gotta tell you, Zuko, I think I’m probably leaving soon,” Sokka said after a few moments.

Sadness and envy filled Zuko at once. He forced himself to smile. “I didn’t think you’d stay forever,” he quipped.

“I would, but Suki says it’s time we head back to Kyoshi. You freed the other warriors, so they’ll probably be looking for her to return. I think Ty Lee and Mai might be coming with us. Suki says they’d make great Kyoshi Warriors.”

“Just Ty Lee and Mai,” Zuko asked, hopeful. He wasn’t ready for his friends to leave him. Even if he grew up in this place, Zuko was alone here, save for his uncle. And Iroh would soon follow. Back to his tea shop in Ba Sing Se, once negotiations were complete. The thought of being without them kept him up at night. _Being without…_

“Yeah, as far as I know,” he replied nonchalantly. “Hey, is there something up with you and Katara? I saw you the other night by the pond. I wasn’t spying on you or anything. Suki and I, well, we were just on a midnight stroll and we happened to come upon you.”

“Nothing really, we were just talking about…about our battle with Azula.”

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask. What happened? Katara seems different. And so do you, I haven’t seen you blow up at anyone recently.” 

“Uh, yeah.” Zuko ran his hands through is sweat-slicked hair thinking of how best to phrase what happened to them. “Katara and I saved each other’s lives, I guess that’ll change you.”

“I get that - Toph and I nearly died as well. Suki saved our lives. It felt like all hope seemed lost. I could feel Toph’s fingers slipping from mine. Then Suki sent an airship colliding into the one we were on. I owe her my life.”

“Yeah, I definitely understand that feeling.”

“But you saved each other, debt’s paid.”

Zuko noised his agreement. Sokka continued on discussing the various ways he’d beat Zuko the next time they sparred, and the Fire Lord nodded along. He could already feel his friend slipping away, headed to Kyoshi Island perhaps never to return.

_________________________

It was the night before Sokka, Suki, Mai, and Ty Lee were set to leave. Zuko had offered them a small vessel and crew for their journey. His secretary Heimo selected the crew. She also was tasked with purchasing goods from local vendors, like barrels of wheat, rice, and salted meats as well as wool and leather, as an offering to the people of Kyoshi. It was the first of many gestures of good will Zuko had planned for the Fire Nation. He and his people had a lot of work to do to ingratiate themselves with the other nations. 

It was just past dusk, and Zuko was scribbling away at his desk. A new policy proposal to clean up the many plants polluting small river villages. It was something he had done at Katara’s behest. Two nights previous, the friends had snatched a few bottles of plumwine from the cellars. Katara spoke passionately about briefly moonlighting as The Painted Lady. _The people were suffering and I needed to help_. While his friends laughed, cheeks tinged with drunk, Zuko took a mental note. Li had informed him that there were many such plants his father had installed during his short tenure as Fire Lord. And many other villages out there that needed protection. Progress was important, but not at the expense of the safety of his people.

“Zuko.” Toph’s voice rang loudly in the quiet of his study. He hadn’t heard her arrive. Too focused on recompense.

“Hey, Toph. Can I help you with something?” It was good to ask, even if he already knew the answer.

“I wanted to write a letter to Sokka, to give him as he leaves tomorrow.”

It was not the first time Toph had asked for Zuko’s help, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Zuko slid the near complete proposal to limit production at industrial plans and institute a new environmental protection committee to monitor the sites to the side and pulled over a new scroll. “I am at your service,” he offered.

“Good, are you ready?”

“Of course.”

“Dear Snoozles,” she began. The sound of Zuko’s brush dripping in ink dance along the page filled room during her pauses. “I can’t believe you are leaving. It won’t be the same without you. Aang can be fun to the point of exhaustion. Zuko’s great, obviously, but he isn’t you. And You know how I feel about Katara. Do you remember when you were learning to master the sword with Piandao? I don’t know if you knew this, but Aang, Katara, and I were miserable without you. I expect to feel the same -”

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad here.”

“You are to write what I say not to interject your opinions. Anyway, it’s meant to make him feel sad and appreciated at the same time. You understand,” she replied, pacing the room. He had come to learn that this little earthbender carried a huge torch for the son of the Southern Water Tribe chief. “Now, Sparky, are you ready to continue?”

“Yes.”

“As I was saying, I expect to feel the same. Your creation of battling the elements has been one of the best parts of living in the Fire Nation. We’ll manage to keep it up without you, but we probably won’t follow the rules as strictly. I won’t mind that actually. Maybe we will be better off without you. Just kidding. I know that you’re trying to limit my abilities to make it fair for everyone else.”

She paused as Zuko snickered. A small pebble zoomed across the room, hitting the Fire Lord hard on the back of his royal head. A grunt of pain escaped him while the earthbender laughed at his expense. “You know, Toph, you’re lucky we are alone. If one of my guards saw you attack the Fire Lord, you might be arrested - or worse - sent back home.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Of course not,” he replied, rubbing the spot on the back of his head that throbbed.

“Okay, let’s continue. Where was I? Oh - yes, I expect you to write to me often. We’ll send Hawky back and forth. Zuko will be reading my letters, so don’t write anything you wouldn’t want him to see.”

Toph paused to let Zuko’s brush catch up to her words. “I miss you already and you haven’t even left yet,” she said quietly. “In fact, after we finish this letter, we’ll be meeting you for dinner.”

Zuko’s stomach rumbled in response. 

“I do wish you safe travels, even if I’m sad you’re leaving - watch out for that girl with the knives. I think she’s still bitter Zuko dumped her. We’ll visit you on our way to Ba Sing Se. Love, Toph.”

When Zuko finished, he rolled the scroll and tied it with one of the green ribbons he had stashed inside his desk. Erona had collected them for him when it became clear that Toph’s letters were constant. On the outside of the scroll, he wrote, ‘For Sokka’ and handed it to Toph. She tucked it safely in her robes, patting it lightly, comforted to know that she wouldn’t lose Sokka even if he as leaving. “Now, let’s go to dinner. I’m starving.”

The journey to the kitchen was not so long when accompanied by a friend, Zuko observed. He had learned a great deal about Toph over the past few weeks, having written letters to her family or quick notes to Iroh and King Keui. She was planning to open a school for metalbending in Ba Sing Se, so she shared plans and sought advice. With her family, she was much more closed, only revealing that she was heading to Ba Sing Se, would like to see them once more, and that she loved them but wouldn’t follow the path they had planned for her. They treated her like glass, infantilized her because of her blindness, but she was harder than rock, harder than metal. The strongest earthbender to ever live.

“How’re peace negotiations going,” she asked nonchalantly as they walked down a dimly lit passageway. With Toph at his side, he didn’t feel the need to bend the fire brighter.

“No real progress,” he admitted. “Hakoda is my only true ally with the Water Tribes - their memory is long. Of course, I don’t blame them. The Earth Kingdom is surprisingly more forgiving. The question with them remains what will become of the colonies. Fire Nation citizens have been living in these lands for at least a generation. I cannot just hand the lands back over to the Earth Kingdom without protecting my people.”

“What are you doing for the Air Nomads?”

“That’s a great question. We haven’t actually talked about what would become of them, seeing as Aang is the last airbender and the other survivors have all but assimilated into other cultures. I’ll bring this up at the next meeting.”

“Have you asked Aang to join the meetings,” Toph asked. The earthbender was wise beyond her years. Zuko understood where that came from - in a way, he experienced the same thing. It was hard to believe that he was just under seventeen.

“I offered, but he said no.”

“Don’t let up. I know he’s just a kid, but he should have a say in the future of the world, if it is to remain in balance.”

He smiled down at her. Her strong fist collided with his shoulder. And his smile stretched a bit farther across his face. “Alright, alright. I’ll be as persistent as you.”

“There you go, Sparky,” she smiled, throwing her hands behind her head as she walked.

An easy conversation fell between them as they reached the final stretch of hallway to the kitchens. A pang of sadness hit as he realized the bond that was forming between them felt familial. It was the relationship he wished he had with Azula, if she was someone different. Someone like Toph. The sounds of voices grew as the neared the entryway.

Inside, Aang, Suki, Sokka, and Katara joked about the outcome of that day’s battle of the elements. Aang had won the day. Allowed for the first time to use all of his elements. “I mean, it’s clear that you haven’t mastered one single element enough to beat me, so you have to use all of them,” Katara was saying as Toph and Zuko entered the room.

The earthbender took her seat at the head of the table, next to Sokka. A shy smile flashed on her face. “For once, I agree with Katara,” she added.

“I _am_ the Avatar, I should be able to use all my skills. And anyway, you train one element exclusively while I have to practice them all. If anything, you are at the advantage. Sifu Hotman, back me up on this,” Aang directed towards Zuko.

He threw up his hands in surrender. “You’re on your own, kid. There’s no arguing with…” He motioned his thumb toward Katara, before taking the open seat beside her. His usual seat, but not hers. Laughter filled the room.

The conversation continued as attendants brought in trays of dumplings, tofu, and smoked fish and bowls of soup, rice, and steamed cabbage. As the friends piled food on their plates the conversation shifted to Sokka and Suki’s travel plans. “You know, if we just take Appa, you could get there in a few days, rather than a few weeks,” Aang offered. Three weeks in the Fire Nation had already made him restless. Whatever responsibilities he had as the Avatar, he was an Air Nomad at heart.

“We know, Aang,” Suki replied, “and we really appreciate your offer, but Mai and Ty Lee are coming with us. And Zuko provided us with a ship full of offerings for the people of Kyoshi -”

“Plus, we aren’t going straight there, we’re making a few pit stops at some of the smaller Fire Nation islands and the southern coast of the Earth Kingdom,” Sokka added with a mouthful of fish.

“Gramps said he might need you to take him on a special mission,” Toph interrupted. Like Zuko, the earthbender was spending lots of time with Iroh, drinking tea and listening to his words of wisdom. “He mentioned that he and King Bumi were planning to visit the colonies soon, as part of negotiations.”

“Maybe we can all go,” Aang brightened. He was having fun in the Fire Nation, hoards of girls followed him around whenever he visited the village, but he was restless.

“Sorry, bud, but with Iroh gone, I will need to stay here. We still haven’t finished appointing all the government positions, so I’m not free to move around as I used to be.”

“I think I’d like to stay here,” Katara added, “I’ve been learning about different forms of healing. I can bring this knowledge back to the Water Tribes.”

This was something new. Zuko’s eyes met hers for a brief moment before returning to his plate. He had seen her getting friendly one of the village physicians, who visited the palace frequently. At the time, he hadn’t thought anything of it.Why would he? She has the power to give life in her hands.

“Well, that’s no fun,” the last airbender pouted.

“I’ll go,” Toph offered, “you’ll need me to keep you and Bumi in check.”

Aang’s faced beamed once more as he began to calculate all the trouble he and the two earthbenders might get into, no longer under the watchful eye of the Fire Nation. 

“So, Ty Lee and Mai are joining the Kyoshi Warriors?” This came from Katara. She wanted the conversation to return to her brother and Suki, who would be leaving them tomorrow. It was bittersweet to see them go. Katara had lived her whole life never being apart from Sokka for more than a day or two, and now he was leaving, perhaps forever.

She would visit him of course, when the time allowed, but she wasn’t sure what the future held for her. At the moment, her father was here in the Fire Nation working with Zuko to bring peace across the world. Why would she leave him after they had been apart for so many years? Sokka had found love and he wasn’t ready to let it go. And Suki had a duty to the Kyoshi Warriors, so it made sense for them to leave. She wasn’t ready. _I feel still for what feels like the first time in my life._

“Yeah, they are already skilled, but they’ll need discipline,” Suki added thoughtfully.

“Not to mention, they don’t want to stay here,” interjected Sokka, before shoving a dumpling in his mouth. 

“It’s part of their restitution. To make amends for their crimes, they will serve the Earth Kingdom.”

“It’s poetic,” Sokka concluded.

The six friends sat together long into the night, willing time to stop so they could soak up this last moment together - at least for now. Around midnight, the friends joined together in a group hug before finally parting ways. Sokka, Suki, and Aang headed together in the direction of their rooms, while Toph, Katara and Zuko headed the opposite way towards theirs.

As they walked, Katara could sense Toph’s saddness - it was not unlike her own. However cynical her brother may be, he always found a way to comfort them and spark their joy. Just before Toph headed down a flight of stairs into the belly of the palace, Katara pulled the earthbender into a hug. Zuko stood back, letting them have their moment. “It will be alright,” the waterbender murmured. “This isn’t the end.”

“I know,” Toph spoke into Katara’s chest, a tear sliding from her pale eyes.

When they parted, Zuko moved to place a reassuring hand on Toph’s shoulder. “Goodnight, my friend,” he said as she moved down the stairs. 

“Goodnight,” she replied, steady in spite of her sadness.

For a short time, Zuko and Katara continued on in silence. They hadn’t been alone together since the previous day, when the firebender found himself lingering in her open doorway. _Hello, Zuko_ , she had said, expecting him to be there. 

_Why are you staying?_ It was a question he had wanted to ask a thousands times. At dinner when her sapphire eyes met his across the table. On the veranda as her arms brushed against his as they watched the sunset. On the beach as she bent ice daggers at him. And now, as they walked silently through the palace.

_I am not ready to go_. She had said, but what did that mean? He didn’t press then, but he was ready to press now.

“Why aren’t you ready to go?” His voice was quieter than he had meant it.

With all but the night-duty guards asleep, the sound of their footsteps echoed loudly around them. Katara half expected this question to come, yet had no real answer for him. Not one she was ready to admit, anyway. She stopped abruptly, in the dark space between two sconces. Zuko walked on for a few steps only to realize that she was no longer with him.

As he turned to meet her, the light from a sconce illuminated his face. The shadow of its flickering flame danced across his scar. Katara smiled in spite of herself. Before her stood this bright light in the dark. The memory of his body writhing against Azula’s lightning, the lightning that was meant for her, flashed before her eyes. 

“Do I need a reason?” Evasion was a good defense. 

Even against the darkness, the blue of her eyes stood out. On another day, he might let it go - on a day when someone might interrupt them. But in the dead of the night, with only the walls to hear them, he pushed her ever so slightly. “I think you do.”

She moved into the light, a vision he won’t soon forget. Her right hand rose to his face. Its fingers lightly traced his ruined skin. He was only just getting used to her touch - its casual affection. So unlike anything he had experienced before. A smile spread across her lips as her sapphire eyes locked with the blaze of his amber eyes. The lump, which seemed to be a permanent fixture in his throat these days, threatened to choke him. 

“Who will be here to save you when you need it?”

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. It wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for, yet it was more than he ever dreamed. He was the Fire Lord, there were physicians, guards, attendants, and advisors, whose sole jobs were to ensure his protection. Not to mention that he is a firebending master. Maybe not quite so skilled as his sister, but more adaptable. She knew all of this, and yet she offered herself as his savior. Even if it was all in playful jest.

Zuko raised his left hand to her right, pressing it against the scar on his face before sliding both hands down to the scar over his heart. “You have already given me this chance at life, how could I ask for more?”

“You don’t need to ask,” she breathed. Her healing fingers dug into the fabric above his heart. Into the place was hers.

“How will I ever repay you?” His hand clutched onto hers more tightly. He wondered, in this darkened hallway, underneath a moonless night if she could feel the blood within his heart, which quickened at her touch.

“There is nothing to repay.”

A small voice inside Zuko urged him to let go of her hand. It reminded him of the last airbender. The boy who pined after the girl touching his heart. Selfishness kept him close to her for a beat longer. He took in a deep breath. She smelled of salt air and floral gardens. Had she been spending more time there? Both hands fell at once and the friends continued on until they came to the fork in the road - where their journey sent them down different halls.

“Thank you, Katara,” he rasped, “for everything.” As always, his bow was far too low for a Fire Lord.

“Goodnight, Zuko,” she replied, touching his shoulder lightly, inviting him to rise. Her fingers fiddled for a moment at the fabric on his shoulder.

“Goodnight,” he whispered softly, before leaving her in the hallway alone.

She floated back to her quarters at once happier and sadder than when she left them that morning. His phantom touch still lingered on the back of her hand and the tips of her fingers burned with the memory of his skin. How long would they go on like this, she wondered. How long would they continue to deny the very truth behind every vague question or feigned-accidental touch?

_________________________

The morning was blisteringly hot, even though the sun was just peeking over the horizon. The air was thick with moisture. No breeze offered respite. It would make a terrible day for sailing, but the lovers set to leave were fortunate to be traveling by steamship. Sokka had woken early, earlier than he thought possible. In his small, yet comfortable bed, he rolled over to find the smokey blue eyes of Suki staring at him.

Ever since Zuko had given them these rooms, they spent every night exploring the vastness of each other’s landscapes. The hills and valleys. Jagged edges, smooth surfaces, and farthest depths. Suki was the surer of the two - telling Sokka which direction to go, where to put his fingers. Where to put his mouth. She purred when he explored certain places. He quivered beneath her touch. There was joy in it - laughter. They would fidget and wiggle and move against each other with a fervor and collapse apart. Their hot breath mingling in the air above them.

If they hadn’t been given the freedom of privacy, Sokka wasn’t sure he would be leaving with her today. Those long nights with Suki awakened something in him. The ache that arose whenever he thought of his sister and friends he’d be leaving behind, dulled whenever the Kyoshi Warrior was near. He was grateful for it.

After Suki left that morning to meet Ty Lee and Mai, Sokka stopped by Aang’s quarters to give Appa and Momo his love. His fist collided with the heavy oak door before him with two loud knocks. Wide gray eyes greeted him as he opened the door.

“Sokka, I can’t believe you’re awake,” Aang nearly shouted. 

“Morning, bud,” Sokka smiled. “It’s definitely a first. Hopefully, this doesn’t become a habit.”

Aang moved to let him enter. It was nice, being around Aang. He wasn’t bitter at Sokka for leaving, merely glad for one more place to visit to see his friends - his family. It wasn’t like Toph, who had been sulking for nearly the entire week. Katara seemed sad, but preoccupied. Sokka welcomed Aang’s attitude. “Had to come by and give Appa a big old hug. I figure he won’t be joining us at the docks.”

“Yeah,” Aang replied, slightly disheartened, “Katara says he draws too much attention. The kids in the village are always asking for rides. _It’s not about you, Aang. It’s about Sokka_. She’s right, of course, but it’s no fun.”

“I agree.” 

They friends moved out onto the balcony where Appa was lying on his back, looking exhausted. “I get it buddy,” Sokka announced as he crouched down to meet the bison’s eyes. “You and I, we weren’t made for this heat.” 

Appa noised his agreement before slathering his tongue down Sokka’s face.

With a quick swipe, he wiped away the saliva. Sokka remembered how grossed out he was the first time Appa had done that. Now, he welcomed it. A strong bond had formed between them. He wouldn’t miss brushing or cleaning all that fur, but he would miss having a silent thought partner. 

Sokka gave the flying bison a big hug before he, Aang, and Momo headed down to the village together. Along the way, Aang complained that Appa couldn’t carry them. The thick air made it harder to walk, as if they were full underwater, pushing against the current. It wasn’t a long journey, but it was long enough that Sokka voiced his agreement. “Bend us some wind,” he suggested.

“It’ll just be more work for me. Sorry, Sokka.”

“No, no. That’s okay.”

Momo rested on Sokka’s shoulder as he and Aang made their way through the village. When they arrived at the dock, they found Zuko, Hakoda, Katara and Toph standing near the vessel meant for Sokka. It was cooler by the water, and all but Zuko looked uncomfortable. “This is why I prefer the South Pole,” Hakoda’s playful voice carried high on the air. 

“I’m gonna be honest with you, old man, I think I prefer this to the alternative,” Toph replied. Her face brightened, “Sokka’s here.”

His pace quickened slightly to meet her. The plan was to be quick. Long goodbyes would be harder, and he’d already spent the past week making his peace. “I have something for you, but wait until we’re just a pebble in the distance,” she said shyly. 

He lifted her in a quick embrace, swinging her around before placing her back down on the earth. A brief thrill. Yet, the earth was a comfort - her vision.

Hakoda and Katara were next to embrace him. They whispered their love to each other. His father swelled with pride. _You sure you aren’t mad,_ Sokka had asked him the day before.

_It’s not so far from the South Pole as here,_ his father had replied. _Just because I followed the path of my father does not mean you have to do the same. I am so proud of the man you have become, Sokka. And if your mother were alive today, I would follow her wherever she wished._

Tears fell from Katara’s eyes in spite of her smile. She was hardest to leave. He replaced the scroll in his robes with the one Toph had given him and handed it over to his sister. “Don’t read this until we’ve disappeared across the horizon,” Sokka whispered, putting his forehead against hers. 

“I love you, brother.”

“I love you too, sis.”

Up on deck, Ty Lee and Mai were waving their goodbyes. Aang flew up on his airscooter to give them advice for the best places to eat and the fun activities to do along the way. Ty Lee smiled brightly bobbing her head while Mai shot him a look of disdain before saying, “Yeah, whatever sounds like fun,” in her dry voice. Aang chalked it up as a win.

Below, Suki arrived off the gangway, hugging everyone as she passed. She spoke briefly to Zuko, thanking him for his hospitality and for showing no mercy in the training room. “The people of Kyoshi will hear of the good you have done to make amends,” she finished.

“I humbly thank you,” he replied, bowing his head. "Take care of our boy."

Sokka pulled the Fire Lord into a tight hug. “I’m gonna miss you buddy,” he admitted. “I can’t believe a year ago you were trying to kill us.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” Zuko quipped, separating briefly to grab his forearm in the tradition of the Water Tribe. “I’m gonna miss you too, bud. Don’t let up on training. We’ve got a rematch coming, if I am not mistaken.”

Ty Lee’s voice sounded from above, “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that Zuko. We’ll keep him in tip top shape.”

“Kill me now,” Sokka mouthed before grabbing Suki’s hand and running up the gangway. They joined the Fire Nation girls on the prow and waved at their friends on the dock below as the ship departed. It moved quickly, quicker than Sokka had expected. His heart ached at the sight of the family he was leaving behind. He stood at the edge until he could no longer see their faces anymore. Then he turned to meet the faces of the women who would become his new family.


End file.
